Frustrated

Yo, I don't wanna live no more
Sometimes I hear depression knocking at my front door
I'm living everyday like a hustle, another job to juggle
Another day another struggle, yo
I know its fucked up what a lack of cake'll do
A few people wanna move in and stay wit u
U wish u cud help them all, but you ain't able to
Cause the rents a little late plus the cable's due
you and your girlfriend are beefin' in a serious way
yoU used to b faithful NOW u at a curious stage
Finally got your mind made up on going your separate ways

Nah homie, her period's late now
ur time'z runnin out do it quickly
Cuz she starts cryin, mood's gettin sticky
If I dont want it she'll want nuttin 2 do wit me
JUST GET THE ABORTION AND I'LL GIVE U THE 250!
But if u say dat to her dan u wrong
yoU ain't think bout that u was getting your groove on
Can't take care of myself nevermind a new born
I guess the pussy got 2 good for2long
Seems like my money goes by 2 easy
Y I hate dat my job only pays bi-weekly
Fridge is empty, but I survive the hunger
Who the hell keeps calling from dis private number?
there's money on my mind and my nails are dirty
Depression starts talking and his voice is nasty
im trying to ignore but its starting to get to me
Look, mustache is full, hair is nappy
these jeans ain't mine because they way 2 baggy
Priorities fucked up and shit starting to gas me
It'z like my lil' man's life slipped right past me
His name's Duane SO WHY THE FUCK MY SON KEEP CALLIN' HIM DADDY?!
Same shit that I feared after all these years
I gotta breathe I cant believe my ears
Wiping out my eyes I'm damn near in tears
But I cant be mad, I know I ain't been there

Grab his momz I throw her against the door
But in the back of ya mind u know it ain't her fault
I ain't mad at all, I'm just hurt
I get honest 4 real I ain't been the best father like
Toys 'R Us, Chuck E Cheese
U know a lil' boy grow up wit these needs
New Year's or Christmas, even the birthday
At least bring the kid 2 his school on the first day
I cant believe it, dis the same way that I was treated
So maybe it's history repeated
I know it sounds sick the idea of having another kid
But dis one it really feel like its his

It's the truth and I hate that fact
WAIT, shouldn't of said that I take that back
Look, I apologize let's rewind dis whole story like NaS

Tried to fix my shortcomings I just came up short.........

You can be loved.....

..even if you are not perfect
even if you don’t know the answer
even if you are horribly confused
even if you can’t make anyone feel better
even if you don’t know how to make yourself well
even if you made a mistake
even if you don’t know how to be
even if you are ashamed
even if you are hopeless
even if you don’t quite fit in
even if you are scared
even if you are lonely
even if you shouldn’t be having such a hard time right now
even if you don’t think so
even if you haven’t found your place yet
even if you aren’t proud of yourself
even if no one has really seen you before
even if you don’t know what to do
even if you try too hard
even if you’re disappointed
even if you don’t really like yourself right now
even if you are beyond good advice
even if you don’t know how to cry
even if you think this post must be meant for someone other than you
by jen lemen

I loved this a lot i think everyone should read this and try to understand no matter how bad things go or how awful u think life is treating you just think of how worst things can be and just try to be happy and appreciate for all the positive things that happen in your life.

Three Sides....

My names Joe, gotta wife named Pam that I live with
But she's always in church, real religious
I had a son he was young he was gifted
Til someone killed him a week before Christmas
Three shots close range with a handgun
I knew before I met Pam that it was Pam's son
I knew i had to go on manhunt to kill they father
Eric and my man had a mutual friend
That put me on doing what I gotta do for revenge
Eric's coming home now, and he's gonna get it
And I know he'll be looking for me with his shit
Not hard to find, got them guns in handy,and
I'm in his house having sex with his family
I got his mom on the bed in the canopy
And I'm with his sister molesting her candy
Now he know it all
His friend prolly told him, and you can't hide nothing in a hood so small...


But then it came Sunday, Joe ain't have to work
Just humped on Alisha, Pam's in church
Eric bust in, Joe just froze
digging up his nose, Sally getting her clothes
Screams, "Get ready to meet your maker Joe"
And then he reach to his hip to let a few of them go
Cause he's packing but Alisha starts gasping
Holding her stomach, she started having contractions
Joe grabbed his, now they both got heat
Just gunning, both ignoring the seed that's coming
Now Alicia's in the crossfire, screams out stop
bullets in the wall, now the scenes getting hott
Next 30 seconds on the scene is the cops
Yellow tape up, now the scenes getting blocked
Barricades up, YEP, you already know y'all
Ambulance there, streets full of cop cars
Cops on the mega phone, "come down now"
But it all calmed down somehow
Joe comes out, hands showing, carrying his arms
Eric comes down, little Alicia in his arms
YEP, nothingto say, she was hit by a stray
Shots done ric-o-shade, cops take him away
But it wasn't the guns that killed Alicia, nah it was the dumb niggas wit her
When we gonna learn to treat our people sacred
Theres some type of way, man, we're all related
When we gonna grow and get rid of the hatred
'cause this shit happens on a regular basis......

Three Sides....

My names Alisha, and I'm from Brooklyn and I'm not happy
Dad pasted away, moms remarried
I gotta big bro, but he's in jail
Moms said some things like, "Stay in jail"
And I'm always with step-dad, his names Joe
And there's some things about him that my mom don't know
And he says if I tell that it won't be pretty
And I'm really scared of him, he's already hit me
He touches me places I don't like it
And I ain't talking bout a hug or goodbye kiss
I mean touch me places that's private
And he don't just touch, he put summin inside it
He says the more he does that, I'll start to like it
Hand over my mouth so I'm quiet
Moms only wit 'him 'cause our money is low
I'm sixteen but I'm shaped like a twenty year old
And my moms in love so she makes excuses
But she looks at me and sees scrapes and bruises
Why step daddy gotta take me through this
HELP, somebody, I'm getting raped I cant do this!!!
Nobody understands that I'm weary
Get goosebumps anytime a man come near me
Know how it feel to have a man use you for a cushion
All the while moaning and pushing
You try to push him, he's getting bothered
You yell and you scream but he starts going harder
Trust me, it's something you don't wanna be apart of
'cause even when it's over, your life, it'll scare you
Visit my bro, he can tell I'm sad
Staring hard at my stomach he can tell I'm fat
He can tell I'm mad
But step daddy TOUCHED me, FUCKED me, you think that I can tell him that?
Joe called the cops on him, could I tell him that?
NOPE, thought you'd agree so I keep it all to me
Baby on the way, and I'm not working
And I know it's his cause I used to be a VIRGIN!
Eric says he'll handle it, wipe my tears
He don't know, this is what it's like for years
Damn mommy please come home, please mommy don't leave us alone
Some secrets are hard to keep
Some secrets make it hard to sleep
And sleep is the only time I feel safe

Still the act haunts me, and I know I'ma wake up with step daddy on me...

Three Sides....

My names Eric, I'm from Brooklyn right there round Bushwick

Raised of honesty, loyalty, good merits
Gotta lil sister and my pops just perished
And I just came home so my freedom I really cherish
Young when they bagged me, seven in jail was a torcher
And I just did that for manslaughter
Odds was against me, murder in the second degree
They gave me less 'cause I gave 'em a plea
That's the past, now a dude home tryna clean up his past
When all niggaz know me for is the past
And my minds always thinking how to pocket some cash
Now I'm tryna live straight and get my act together
But my moms struggling, she putting scraps together
Long time ago, when I wasn't home she was cleaning my room
Cried when she found a gun in the dresser
Said no child of hers woulda had that, NEVER!!!
But with all the dirt I was doing
I felt like I had 2 protect her, I had 2 protect us
Stead of me selling crack forever
She rather me in Path mark, getting bags together
Packing bags, wont allow me to get real work
Forced me to get work
On apps they ask if you ever been to jail, like if I say yes you'll hire me
NIGGA DON'T LIE TO ME!!!
I gotta lil sister that's nine
Plus moms is chillin, wit some new dude I think she feeling
But he don't help with the bills and I'm back on the strip
So we don't go broke, I'm back to nonsense that i have 2 do
Stash ya kno, I'm killing em, only dude on the Ave. with blow
Only man in the house, I gotta bring in cash
And those two checks a month that mom get don't last
Lil Alisha still young she developing fast
Oh, you thinking the same thing, it's a hell of a task
Then it clicked me, playing it close, cops came to get me
And I moved swiftly, said they had a warrant
They knew about it all they said they had an informant
I'm back in this caged up cell
With the apes in jail, now I'm back in this eight by twelve
See I tried to live right
and I'm trying not 2 cry at night
But society ain't made for niggas to live right
Mommy please write
Mommy make sure Alisha keep her shit tight

And I'll be home real soon, don't cry, it's iight.